A different way to deal with and move through hard times.
The problem with seeking out people going through the same thing as you so you can have empathy, sympathy and a feeling of knowing you’re not alone – misery likes misery. Instead be seek out positive people, connections that remind you of things you love and love doing to shift your energetic state.
Think back to a time when you shared a story with someone about the ‘crap that happened at work’, the ‘shitty thing your partner did’, the ‘incredibly rude client that you had’. What happened? They likely listened to what you were saying, made noises of disgust, disappointment or “awww that’s awful”, followed by a ‘then what happened’ and repeating back to some specific things that were said or done, each time a little more emotion is added and it becomes quite theatrical.
What happened to you in this share…
You remembered the experience, you remembered the feeling of the experience…and then you shared it again with someone else…you remembered the experience, and because you are now feeling a little more upset by it (this is what happens when we feed our emotions they get stronger) you feel even more feelings of the experience. Then this happens again and again, it might start happening in different parts of your life and you don’t even know it – you’re just trapped in the emotional state of the memory of your experience.
You start to become the person that others associate with a particular attitude, mood or personality. With people saying “oh she’s just like that”, “he’s just a moody so and so”, “she’s snappy with everyone”, “he just doesn’t say very much, that’s just how he is”.
Now don’t get me wrong, you absolutely need to honour your emotions. Honour your pain, honour your loss, honour your frustration, honour your anger. You’re completely allowed to feel those emotions, it’s part of your human experience. Though you’re ability to move through and beyond your emotions, to turn that experience into wisdom to allow you to grow instead of repeat the same cycles again and again is what I’m really getting at.
I for one appreciate being able verbalise stressful things that have happened to me to get them out of my head.
But then stop.
The temptation is to create stories, embed memories into your operating system (aka subconscious mind and physiology). Resist the temptation to repeat your story and re-experience the event only to embed and lock it so deep that it controls your present and future thoughts and behaviours.
So how do you honour your emotions without letting them define you?
1. Create safe spaces
It’s important that when you need to feel and release, you can do so without fear of judgement. When those emotions want out you want to let them out.
Every now and again when I feel overwhelmed by my own emotions or energies I’ve absorbed from others, I get home and I cry. If I’m at work, I excuse myself to the ladies.
Let them out because that’s what your higher self wants for you.
2. Learn your heart from your head
It’s easy for your head (ego/analytical mind) to talk you into “you’re fine”, “get over it”, “so and so wouldn’t get this worked up over it”. All of this shuts down the healing process of your heart.
Connect to your heart space through your breath, in meditation, or any other mind calming/focusing activities (drawing, colouring in, macrame, running).
So when I feel my overwhelm and I retreat to my safe place, I let my head (ego/analytical mind) know it’s okay and safe to get it on board. Through practicing heart connect frequently, I easily sense when I’ve shifted, I know I’m not quite done releasing. What do I do? I give myself permission to feel and release. I express my trust in the process. And I sit and keep going until my heart has moved me through it.
I use PSYCH-K to do this quickly, safely and effectively. Releasing stress and moving into a whole-brained state with the thing that caused the stress in the first place.
Being able to think about the event without having emotionally, mentally or physically adverse reactions. “So what?!?” you ask. Well, this means that you have access to the full faculties of your mind, which means that you can think about what you want instead of this experience in the future with a higher capacity.
“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” – Albert Einstein
Book a free Clarity Call now if you’d like to release stress fast and create a more peaceful, calmer, joyful, happier future.
Be your best,