I started morning meditations just over a year ago after a break-up with my boyfriend. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, mentally, physically and I was very disconnected spiritually! On top of the break up, work was a huge stress for me and all of this simply wasn’t doing my health any good. You might remember a post a few weeks back telling you that I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis when I was 13 - well the symptoms were back, not as bad as then but bad enough to be disruptive.
Anyway, so I started meditating again (I used to meditate or do self hypnosis most nights before bed in London before I came out to Australia when I stopped) and I used an app that I’d been told about Headspace, which is a suite of guided meditations by @andypuddicombe. I loved it!
The problem I was having was that my brain would never shut up! I was constantly thinking, worrying, wondering what if, asking myself if I should I leave my job and how much more of this can I take...and there in the first 10 days of the meditation I was allowed to accept that all this was going on, and to simply keep refocusing on my breathe when I noticed my thoughts had drifted without giving myself a hard time! Fabulous!! So I continued, and meditated almost every morning...it made a massive impact on my emotional health (a lot of other work was done as well) and this felt like the right way to start my day....
I’m going to fast forward a little, I’ve told stories of some of the things that have been going on this year already and I’m sure I’ll tell more...
I want to fast forward to the last few months. My morning meditation practice has faltered, I do the odd meditation or energy healing (which I go into a meditative state for) here and there, but it’s not every day and certainly not every morning. I’ve also been doing lots of subconscious level transformation (important for next bit of the story) which is lots of feel good, mind and emotional shifting stuff that has made me a happier and more positive person as a really deep level.
Okay, you'll have to keep up a little because I'm going to fast forward to yesterday. Yesterday was day 1 of my Psych-K Advanced training (the system for the change work I've been facilitating with myself and other over the last couple of months). So we were looking at belief points and the one that struck me the most was "letting go". I've done lots of change work around this, but it really made me feel uncomfortable, so I put a star next to it so I didn't forget to bring it up (and actually I feel a sense of unease now just writing about it...). Then after class I got home and got to doing some work whilst having dinner and talking/texting my housemate and some friends, and I started to feel quite emotional - sad, annoyed, disconnected and bordering on tearful - this was over 1-2 hours. I put it down to being incredibly tired from the work I'd been doing in class and went to sleep.
This morning I felt better, as I would've expected (the mind and body are great at processing and healing when you get a great sleep) but what was wonderful was my urge to do a meditation. I popped up on the bed, lotus position and opened up my Headspace app and to my surprise I'd "quit" whilst working through a pack on 'acceptance'. I'd gotten two thirds of the way through before I'd stopped. In the meditation the question you ask yourself is "who or what are you resisting in life right now?" This was absolutely perfect!
Side note: We all picked an Angel card at the beginning of the day in class, mine was 'healing'.
After my meditation I knew I was getting some awesome signs from the universe about where I was at and what I needed for me right now...'healing', 'letting go' and 'acceptance'/'resistance' could not be more closely connected as a message! I'm looking, listening and feeling - a couple of years ago I would've likely not got the message - but I'm so glad I am now! 🙂
I will be back on my morning meditation from today onward and will do some change work on the other things this week.
But what do I want to tell you...look, listen and feel your signs, whoever or whatever you think is giving them to you. Shrugging them off as coincidence or 'just one of those things' is giving opportunity to the universe to give you a bigger whollopping over the head until you get what it's telling you.
Best your best,
Bhav xx
